Sexy, Sloppy, or Skanky?

Someone warn the PTA, Ashlee Simpson has pregnant-boobs and she's not afraid to use them!

Here is a pic of Miss Simpson out and about this week showing her ta-tas in what may possibly be the ugliest dress I have ever seen.

I've read other commentaries about this dress, and everyone else seems to love it. I, however, think it's horrible.

What's your opinion. Sexy? Sloppy? or Just plain skanky?

Everybody's Doin' It.

It seems like anybody who's anybody has a baby or two growing inside them. Gwen Stafani, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba, Tori Spelling, and Ashlee Simpson just to name a few.

Everywhere you turn there are pictures of celebrity starlets' expanding waist lines.

Baby bumps are so hot right now that EVERYONE is sporting them. Including celebs that aren't even pregnant! Need proof? Here it is.

Family Ties: Clay Aiken Edition

Family Ties star Meredeth Baxter Birney and singer K.D. Lang are having a baby!!!

Wait...no, that's record producer Jaymes Foster and BFF Clay Aiken. My bad.

Yes, it's true. Clay Aiken has impregnated someone and she will bare his spawn!

Let me translate. Sister Aiken got that chick pregnant! He's 29, she's 50, and thanks to a turkey baster, she's due in August.

That chick is the sister of world-renowned record producer David Foster. She and Clay have been friends for years. She recently went through a nasty divorce and never had kids.

Clay had nothing else to do. So she handed him a copy of Tiger Beat Magazine and a dixie cup and the rest is history.

The above picture is the only known photo of the proud mommies. It's grainy and looks like it was taken with a cell phone. So, I've recreated the happy moment when the story leaked to the press. See how happy they look!

The miracles of modern science! Two lesbians having a baby and one of them is 50 years old! Amazing.

She's Not Fat, She's Pregnant!

Pass the peanutbutter and bacon sandwiches! Elvis' little girl is preggers again!

Miss Presley has really been packing on the pounds lately. So much so, she had to come clean about her secret pregnancy.

Isn't it amazing how we eventually turn into our parents. Who knew Lisa Marie would turn into Elvis Part Deux? She's got that new papa glow!

"After being the target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures and articles in the media, I have had to show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant."

Manipulated pictures? Is she saying that the papz are photoshopping pictures of her to make her look bigger than she is? So that's why she is admitting she's pregnant?

That's some crazy logic. The same kind of crazy logic that makes a girl marry Micheal Jackson after he's accused of child molestation.

Cra-a-a-a-zy.

Homegirl goes on to say on her MySpace blog,

"It is unfortunate that I couldn’t have announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made us so incredibly happy under better circumstances.”

Yah, like during the season finale of Dancing with the Stars.

Big Is So Big Right Now

Eating is back, baby! (Or should I say, baby's-mama!)

Last year's hottest accessory the baby bump is sooo out. Also out is adopting an African orphan to preserve your figure.

What's in? Getting as big as African hut and giving birth to your own spawn!

Forget your figure, eat dammit! This year's baby's-mama is eating for two, sometimes three or four!

Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, and Melissa Joan Hart are each ready to pop any second now. And for the first time in recent history, they are celebrities who look it.

If only Anna Nicole had hung on for another year. She may have been able to kick the TrimSpa addiction that killed her. So tragic. Nevertheless...



(One year anniversary of self-destructing train wrecks aside...)
Rejoice all ye peoples! 2008 is the year of the big girl!

Baby Bumps are on Their Way Out

OMG! This day will go down in offspring of teen-star turned hoochie-mama turned loving-mother history!!!

That's right...two, count them two celebs gave birth today, at the same hospital, no less.

Xtina and Nicole both gave birth to their new "life changing miracles from God." (Not a direct quote from either of them yet, but just wait.)

In 2007, the baby bump was definitely the fashion accessory that no self respecting Hollywood starlet would go in public without. Halle, J. Lo, Alba...they were all doing it.

But if January is any indication for the rest of the year, (and my A in high school biology tells me it will be) Babies will be the hottest accessory in '08.

Good luck girls. At least we know, you can't be as bad of mothers as Britney.