Birthday Snaps: Suri Cruise Edition

The world's cutest and most powerful celebritot Suri Cruise turns three years old on Saturday, April 18th.

My oh my how time flies. I remember when we all thought the spawn of Tom Cruise was just a beach ball underneath Katie Holmes' sweater.

Now she's three and plotting to take over the world. Sure, there will be a few stops in rehab along the way. But mark my words people. Once she gets out of rehab for the final time, we will all be saying "Whatever you wish, Grand Empress Suri."

Click HERE to see Suri's appearance on www.LOLcelebrities.net.

Birthday Snaps: Mariah Carey Edition

Grab the My Little Pony balloons and Hello Kitty party hats! Mariah Carey is turning 39!

I'm sure this is the last official birthday Mrs. Carey-Mottola-Cannon plans on having. So I hope she makes it a good one. (That is unless of course she can convince people that she is the female Benjamin Button and starts aging backwards.)

In honor of Mimi's last official b-day, here is some old-school Mariah! Always Be My Baby. Why? Because no matter what, Mimi. You'll always be my baby. I love you fat, thin, cool, corny, crazy, sane, belting out, scratchy whispers, or dog whistle! It doesn't matter to me.

I'll be loving you long time, because I can't let go. Since we belong together, my butterfly.

Supernatural Birthday Snaps: B.J. Ritter Edition

March 1st is a glorious day! Why? Because it's the annual celebration of the day I burst forth from my mother's womb!

You know what else? It's also Jensen Ackles' birthday. In fact he and I are the exact same age! Eerie huh? I know. It's almost "supernatural."

31 never looked so hot!

We have something else in common, Jensen and I both love making mock music videos. Rather than posting a Beej video, I'm posting a Jensen video from the Supernatural gag reel. It's well worth the watch.

Not only is it my birthday, but this marks Pink Sheep of the Family's 700th post!!! Woot!

Happy birthday indeed! God bless us every one.

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P.S. I'm on MySpace and Twitter now too.

Beaten But Not Broken: The Rihanna & Chris Brown Saga

Birthday snaps go out to R&B Princess Rihanna on her 21st birthday. But no one is celebrating. This has got to be the worst birthday ever!

On the eve of her 21st b-day, some scumbag cop on the L.A.P.D. leaked one of her evidence photos to the website TMZ.

After seeing this photo of a beaten and battered Rihanna, I want to (allegedly) meet Chris Brown in a dark alley somewhere. And make him come face to face with all 120 lbs of Beej!

Oh, I dare you to put your grubby little hands on me, Chris Brown! I mutha' effin dare you! I won't just lie there and let you (allegedly) choke me! You'll wish you would have taken Ri-Ri's advice when she sang, "Shut Up and Drive."

Allegedly, of course.

In all seriousness, this photo breaks my heart. What kind of animal would do this to another human being? Sick. Sad. And Disgusting.

Happy Birthday, Rihanna. Be strong, girlfriend. I'm praying for you.


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Birthday Snaps: Trophy Wife Edition

Eva Gabor would have been 90 years old today. Birthday snaps go to her and all her glamor. Enjoy this old clip from Green Acres where she played Lisa Douglas the trophy wife who was prettier than she was smart.

Other random celebs having birthdays today who are prettier than they are smart, Sarah Palin (45), Jennifer Aniston (40), and Brandy Norwood (30).

Happy Birthday, Pink Partner!

Birthday snaps go out to Pink Partner who turns another fabulous (yet undisclosed) year older today! WOOT! I love you, Sugar Bear!

If you ever decide to pack your bags and leave, you will see me grab your ankles and sing this song as you walk out the door... though no where near as good as this amazing little girl from the Philippines. This diva in training diva is named Charice Pempengco. Homegirl can really saaang! Watch her work the crowd and the mic. Fabulosity deluxe! ...but I digress.

Happy Birfday, babe.
Love,
Beej

Birthday Snaps: Britney Spears Edition

Birthday snaps go out to the Princess of Pop Britney Spears! Our favorite little diva train-wreck pop-tart turns 27 on December 2nd.

You know what they say, "27 is the new photoshopped to look 19 again!"

Homegirl will be the covergirl for January's Glamour magazine in which she says 2008 has been a "hell of a year."

She started the year with a dollar store weave. She went absolutely bonkers. Her father had her committed to a psych ward. She lost custody of Small Fry and Tater Tot to K-Fed. She spent almost all her money. Her Father took control of her purse strings. Her little sis (a Disney star) had a baby.

But praise be to God, she has returned from the land of crazy and is releasing a new album. She is officially back, b*tches!

That's a lot of stuff to happen to one person. Especially to a twice divorced single mother of two.

To honor her royal highness' birthday, I am posting world-class drag queen Derrick Berry's homage to the Brit-Brit on America's Got Talent from earlier this year. A hell of a year indeed.

Grab some cheetos and enjoy the show!

Hot Diggity Dog

This is Boogie! And she is one hot bitch! Boogie loves dressing pretty, modeling, celebrity gossip, and long walks on the beach.

Boogie's humans Tom & Kisha sent me this pic of their baby girl all dressed up in her pink dress for her 4th birthday!

Don't think this is Boogie's first rodeo. Here's Miss Boog in her Halloween costume.

Fierce!



P.S. Boogie isn't the only Pink Sheep of the Family enthusiast who's having a birthday! Birthday snaps go out to Kathy, Pink Partner's mom!

Kirk Cameron: World's Hottest Televangelist

Birthday snaps go out to 80's heartthrob, televangelist, and movie-star Kirk Cameron who turned 38 this weekend.

I love Kirk Cameron so much I use his name in everyday language.

Kirk Cameroned: (verb) the act of being left behind, (adjective) the word describing an item or person that has been left behind. For example: "I can't find where the office-wide meeting is being held. The rest of the office Kirk Cameroned me!" or "Oh no! My cell phone was Kirk Cameroned on the kitchen counter!"

Brother Cameron has made a major comeback and found success at the box office. His latest flick Fireproof has raked in over $13 million, not a lot until you realize it only cost $500 grand to make!

And the Lord spake unto Kirk saying, "Ka-ching ka-ching!" And Kirk replied, "Amen! So be it." Show me that smile again, indeed.

Could Oscar be just around the corner? *crickets* Guess not.

Any way, on a different note, I thought Christians were forbidden to practice witchcraft. Then somebody explain to me how Mike Seaver hasn't age a day since 1988!

If it's not witchery, then he must subscribe to the B.J. Ritter school of beauty: Botox and Jesus! Prayer, it does a body good, y'all. Mister Cameron and I clearly have some theological differences. For instance, I doubt he'll ever write about how hot he thinks I am on his website, but I'm confident God loves him any way.

Now to turn up the heat, here is the world's hottest evangelical fundamentalist learning about bananas and paying gang members to listen to him preach!

Birthday Snaps: Mahatma Gandhi Edition

These are children in Siliguri, India who participated in a Mahatma Gandhi costume contest to celebrate the peace activist's 139th birth day on October 2nd.

How adorable are they? I know, right? This picture just makes me smile. Their little bald caps crack me up. A bunch of Lil' Gandhi's are the perfect antidote to Lil' O'Reilly.

So in honor of the Father of India's Sweet 139, here are some of my favorite Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi quotes:

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

"Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary."

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

"And the Two Shall Become One..."

Am I wrong or is Michael Jackson channeling Janice Dickinson in this photo?

This is what happens to people who have too much plastic surgery. They all begin to look alike.

It's really quite sad. Mikey used to rule the world, now he never even gets out of his pajamas. And he gets mistaken for an aging super model who has also journeyed down the way of the knife.

Speaking of too much plastic surgery. Much like forensic scientists did with Britney Spears, scientists have created a computer generated natural age progression of Mister Jackson had he not tried to turn himself in to a Disney cartoon.

Here's the "picture." What say you?

Happy 50th, Michael.

I Love Angela Bassett. 'Nuff Said.

While Madonna was stealing the half-a-century spotlight last weekend, another diva turned 50 on the same day!

Angela Bassett, Hollywood's best kept secret, joined The Red Hat Society.

I think I'm in love with her. She has a better body than any of those spoiled, drunken chippies half her age!

She's an Emmy & Oscar nominated star! Yet I think she doesn't get enough credit.

What do y'all think? In a celebrity death-match... who would win: Angie B. or Madge? I don't think Madonna would have a chance against Angela Bassett's guns. Do you?

Birthday Snaps: Madonna Edition

Madonna Louise Ciccone Ritchie turns 50 years old on Saturday! Madge's first self-titled album was released in 1983, and the world has never been the same.

She's acted in 22 films, sold over 200 million records around the world, and holds a Guinness World Record for being the most successful female artist of all time! Homegirl's got game!

Whether you love her or hate her, you know who she is.

Truthfully, she's got so much money, she doesn't care if you like her or not. She's worth an estimated $400 million and doesn't show signs of stopping.

Her long career can be divided into two chunks: Fun Madonna and British Madonna. Or before and after Kabbalah.

I've chosen my favorite songs from both eras. Vogue by Fun Madonna from 1990 and Ray of Light by British Madonna from 1998.

Tell me, what's your all-time favorite Madonna song?

Birthday Snaps: Donald Duck

"Birthday snaps" go out to Donald Duck who turns 74 years old this week!

He made his showbiz premiere in a 1934 cartoon called The Wise Little Hen.

Remember the good old days? When Disney was famous for drawing cartoons, not pimping out cartoon-like tweens? Long before High School Musical. Long before Hannah Montana. There was Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Pete Pig, and all their friends. (Whatever happened to Pete?)

Let's go back to simpler times when ducks wore naval uniforms, pigs played accordions, and gas was 12 cents a gallon. If John McCain can make that happen again, he's got my vote. But don't hold your breath.

The Wise Little Hen was probably Big Mac's favorite nickelodeon as a boy, being that he grew up in the era of talkies. In case you didn't know, John McCain is really old.

Please to enjoy, Donald Duck's cinema debut, The Wise Little Hen.

Feel Good Fridays: Tyson Ritter Edition

"Birthday Snaps" go out to my little cousin Tyson (who's not so little anymore) the lead singer of All American Rejects.



The rock-n-roll branch of my family tree turned 24 yesterday! So I decided to dedicate this week's Feel Good Friday in his honor.



Amazingly, Tyson has sustained a good run at the spotlight and continues to grow his discography and accumulate accolades.



And though everybody knows he likes to party, he has pretty much stayed out of trouble. Praise Jesus!



One reason why I'm so proud of him is that he not only sings and plays the bass and the keyboard, but he's also writes the song lyrics they record.



Add to all that the fact that he started his own clothing line called T.Bourne Ritkin's BUTTER.



What can I say? We Ritter boys have a flair for fashion. Fierce!



Here is his breakout hit that goes back in time to 2003. Which was a staggering five years ago. Swing Swing. Time goes by so fast y'all.







And just for fun. Here is The All American Rejects first video My Paper Heart also from their debut album. It's totally ghetto fabulous compared to the budgets and production qualities of Move Along, Dirtly Little Secret, or It Ends Tonight. That's what makes it fun.











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Birthday Snaps: World's Oldest Person

She's gonna party like it's 1899!

Edna Parker, the oldest person on the planet, just celebrated her sweet 115.

You know what they say, 115 is the new 87.

Miss Parker was born on April 20, 1893.

Her family says the secret to her longevity is that she's always been on the thin side and never worries. Good advice.

Homegirl has been livin' single ever since her husband kicked the bucket in 1938 of a heart attack.

Men: can't live with them...you'll live to be a 115 without them!

I hope Edna has access to the world wide interweb and reads Pink Sheep of the Family! I would love to get her comments on what's going on in our world today.

Can you imagine what sister-friend has to say about Britney?

Now, Great-great-grandma Edna has turned into a bit of a guinea pig. Scientists have taken samples of her blood and have cryogenicly frozen it so they can do tests on it for years to come in hopes of finding the fountain of youth.

Side note: There are only 75 people in the world who are 110 years old or older. Sixty-four of which are chicks, according to the Gerontology Research Group.

So, "birthday snaps" go out to you Edna Parker of Shelbyville, Indiana.

You've still got it!

Birthday Snaps: Pope Benidect XVI Edition

Shepherd-1 has landed and B-16 is in the hizzie!

That's right, Pope Benedict XVI is in America taking his message to the streets.

God's Rottweiler celebrated his 81st Birthday with G.Dub and Laura at the White House this week.

Benny is here to lay the smack down on his flock in the United States. (Apparently the news finally made it to the Vatican that the American clergy have been up to no good.)

So birthday snaps go out to Big Papa, His Holiness the Pope.

But the real news is the fact that Laura Bush showed up wearing the same dress!

Laura, honey, what were you thinking? Come on, sister-friend, who does that?

You don't upstage a bride at her wedding. You don't wear a bedazzled tank top to brunch with Richard Simmons. And you don't wear white to the Pope's birthday party!

Everyone knows that!

Guess Who?

Guess which totally fabulous, yet slightly eccentric, celebrity blogger is turning 30 on March 1st?

Click here to find out!

Birthday Snaps: Molly Ringwald Edition

"Birthday Snaps" go out to Molly Ringwald.
The diva of all things brat-pack, turned 40 this week!

I loves me some Molly Ringwald.

In case your not up on your Molly Ringwald trivia:

Homegirl made her small screen debut in 1980 on Diff'rent Strokes and its super popular spin-off The Facts of Life as little Molly Parker.


Then came puberty and with it came hit after mega-hit for the gingeress.

To name the big ones: Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, and Betsy's Wedding!
Remember those. I know. They were awesome, right?

Not to mention the countless made-for-tv movies and off-broadway productions, and television cameos.

When I think of the 80's I think of Sister Ringwald. She was an institution, an icon, a force.

I love her because she is the antithesis of the Hollywood "It" girl. All the while being exactly that for an entire decade!

She had fame, fortune, glamor and charisma. And she didn't need silicone, collagen, veneers, or peroxide to do it.

Snaps to the world's most fabulous ginger!

Now, enjoy some of the best Molly moments with the trailers of Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink.
Good times...good times.

It Sucks to Be Paris Hilton Right Now

Wow. Talk about a crappy week for Paris Hilton.

It's already been reported here that baby-brother Barron was thrown in the clink for driving with a fake ID while under the influence last week.

Add to that, homegirl's movie debuted and went over like the Hindenburg. Oh, the humanity!

The Hottie and the Nottie took in less than $30,000 in 111 cinemas across the U.S. last weekend. Meaning over a three-day period an average of just 31 people per theater watched Paris' latest attempt at acting. (To her credit. That is better than Jessica Simpson's last flick.)

Furthermore, IMDb (Internet Movie Database) has ranked the film as the worst movie in history. As of February 17th 3,840 reviewers have given it 1 out of 10 stars, the website's lowest possible rating.

That means The Hottie and the Nottie ranks below American Idol's From Justin to Kelly with Love and Daddy Daycare!

Now, to add gravity to the vortex of Paris' suckiness. Sister Hilton appeared on Ellen to promote her awful monstrosity of a movie and is now in trouble with the the City of Los Angeles.

Yikes, can't a rich girl get a break?

During Miss Hilton's interview with the lesbianic talk-show host, Paris let it slip out that she is hording 17 dogs inside her compound. The Los Angeles Department of Animal Services did not think that was hot. They were like, "Not hot."

Only licensed animal breeders are allowed to own more than three dogs at a time.

Finally, to top it all off, Paris just turned another year older.
(So, birthday snaps to her!)

Paris celebrated her 27th birthday on Sunday. Sister-friend is not getting any younger! She's got no man. No kids. No real job. No direction. No purpose. No fan base. No talent. No long-term staying power. Her 15-minutes is fading fast.

She's barely hanging on to her youth.

She's basically an old spinster over compensating with sex, drinking, partying, and lap-dogs.




I'll say it again. It sucks to be Paris Hilton right now.