Idol Re-Airs Michael Jackson Night
OMG! American Idol should re-air isolated episodes of the show more often! I totally enjoyed reading my old comments and knowing who gets voted off and then seeing how the judges target who they want to get voted off next.
This time around, I noticed Paula Abdul seemed to be on the verge of tears with every little comment she made. What was that about? I also noticed, Scott MacIntyre was horrible... way worse than I remember.
So just for kicks, here was I had to say after the first time the show aired. It's eerie how well it sums up the entire season.
American Idol and Michael Jackson: A Match Made in Crazyville.
Originally published March 11, 2009
"A huge red flag goes up when someone on American Idol says they are going to sing a Michael Jackson song. I immediately think they are crazy or a pervert or a crazy pervert.
You can imagine my surprise when the powers that be decided to dedicate an entire episode to the Michael Jackson catalog! Craziness galore!
Here's my take on the performances.
Lil Rounds is one of the best singers on the show, but totally bored me. I just stared at her butt in those white pants.
I've not been a fan of Scott MacIntyre the blind dude. But this time I drank the Kool-Aide. Maybe it was the piano, but I love me some Scott now.
Danny Gokey the guy with the dead wife rocked it.
The roughneck Michael Sarver sounded all country to me, but the judges were like, "Blah, blah, we love you all R&B."
Why were they so mean to the pretty little girl Jasmine Murray? I thought she was great. But whatever.
Kris Allen the guy with the live wife made me swoon with his hot rendition of Remember the Time.
I also liked Allison Iraheta the 16 year-old chick with the fake red hair and smokers voice.
Who doesn't love Anoop Dogg Desai, but his rendition of Beat It was more like Let's Play Hopscotch.
Jorge Nuñez and his eyebrows continued to seduce me even if he can't sing too good in the English.
Megan Joy the tattoo girl is so quirky that you just got to love her. Tweet, tweet.
Adam Lambert the drag queen is so awesome... he can sing anything and make it sound cool.
Matt Giraud the bluesy piano guy is like the love child of Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke. He is an amazing singer, but as soon as he's done I forget what he just sang. It's happened every time he's been on the show. Which isn't good if he wants to stay on the show.
Alexis Grace the M.I.L.F. with pink hair came out wearing her best Mardi Gras beads and sang like she was in a Christina Aguilera tribute concert.
BTW, Did anyone else miss Tatiana Del Toro the laugher? Just asking?"
Barack Obama, Adam Lambert, Penguins, and New Hampshire
This has been one gay, faggoty, queer week! The whole thing started with the President of the United States Barack Obama declaring June "Lesbain, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month." Don't believe me? HERE is the actual decree from the Black Stallion's own website. What can I say, Barry loves the gays.
Then in not-so-earth-shattering news, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert was scene playing handsies in public with his hottie boyfriend after it was announced that Glambert would do an Ellen-esque, "Duhh... Of course I'm gay" cover for August's Rolling Stone.
Next, two gay penguins in Germany successfully hatched an egg together. The two "pink birds of the family" are not the first homo-penguins, (apparently gay penguins are quite common). They're just the first in Germany. It's like Tango Makes Three part Zwei. Fascinating story really. Click HERE to read more. But seriously, is anybody really that shocked? I mean they are always over-dressed and they walk funny. Could penguins be any more gay?
Finally, the state of New Hampshire officially became the sixth state in America to legalize same-sex marriage. New England is now officially the gayest place on earth. Even gayer than the boys dormitory at Focus on the Family Institute. Just sayin'.
And now to top it off, enjoy Joe Jonas (the Brother with the good hair) in a unitard dancing to Beyonce's All the Single Ladies. This is the gayest week ever! Some where in heaven Paul Lynde is dancing a jig with his new hag Bea Arthur.
Queen, King, & Jack: American Idol Edition
I love this year's American Idol! It hasn't been this good since the Bo Bice & Carrie Underwood season.
All three guys that are left on the show are very likable and very talented. So that makes it hard to determine who is worthy of standing in the finals next week.
The Lencrafter's mascot known as Danny Gokey is a good singer, and I would buy his inspirational album in a heartbeat. I think having him as a worship leader at church would be so cool. However, Danny singing rock songs equals not cool. I wanna hear him sing about Jesus not singing about doing the nasty or boogy-woogying all night long. He's clearly a nice guy, but I don't want to see him in the finals. Sorry.
So that leaves Kris Allen and Adam Lambert. First, Kris. He makes humility unbelievably sexy. When he sang Kanye West's Heartless with his acoustic guitar, I wanted to throw my undies at the tv screen. I squealed with delight from beginning to end! So what if he has a triangle shaped mouth when he sings and a junior high boy's mustache? I love me some Kris.
Kris nailed it in this week's performances, and the judges were like, "Mehhh... you're no Adam."
Finally the sparkling Princess of Goth Adam Lambert, or Glambert for short, is like no other Idol contestant ever! His voice is unbelievable. He can go from full voice to gravely to falsetto seamlessly and never miss a note. He understands how music works, has great showmanship, and rides the fine line between drag and guyliner.
But what was up with Simon basically begging America to vote for Adam. Que pasa? (Which is Spanish for "what the pasa?") Was I the only one who thought his begging was inappropriate and weird? Kind of like the football coach making an announcement at a school assembly about who to elect Homecoming Queen. Awkwaaaarrrrd.
As far as I'm concerned, Glambert won the contest the first week of competition, the rest has just been formality. Truthfully, however, it will probably better serve him to not win the competition. It's no secret the American Idol contract sucks. And the Idols are forced to do all kinds of dumb publicity gigs. Can you imagine the movie, From Glambert to Gokey?
