Everyone who knows me knows I'm a B.B.B.W. trapped inside a S.W.G.G.'s body. (That's a Big Beautiful Black Woman and Skinny White Gay Guy.) So I can get inside a sista's head. I know how important it is to have a magnificent weave.
The lady in this video doesn't have just any old weave! She has a Miracle Working Bullet Stopping Magic Weave!!! In fact her weave saved her life.
"I've invested a lot of money in this weave and it saved my life. Saved my life!" said the 20 year-old near victim.
Her crazy ex-boyfriend tried to shoot her in the back of the head and the weave reached out and snatched that bullet in midair! See, it's magic.
The best part of the story is the boring, bald straight dude reporting the story. You can tell he's thinking. "Gawwwd, when am I gonna get promoted and get to sit behind the anchor desk? I'm a college educated journalist for goodness sake!"
Me too, dude. I have a degree in journalism too. And this is what do! I tell stupid stories about stupid people doing stupid things. So, stop whining and tell me about how the weave saved the woman's life. Then tell me where I can buy one. And do it with a smile!
